Doctor Who Christmas trailer

Jul. 24th, 2017 08:16 am
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[personal profile] hollymath
[personal profile] magister has just watched the new Doctor Who trailer next to me, and then I go look at my DW reading page and about three different people have shared it there too. Ha, I know good people here.

I was actually talking with James about this yesterday, I said I was mad it has Bill and this First Doctor-playing guy who's name I can't remember, and it has Capaldi, and maybe Missy? And this is great because I'd watch them all the time, but a shame because I feel like what's the point of the rengeration episode we just had, which didn't even have a regeneration in it? We could've had a lovely normal story instead of having to have two whole episodes full of doom about the Doctor dying.

It's been a generally pretty doomy season anyway, something I complained about all the way back in "Oxygen." Maybe I'm a big wuss (okay, I am a big wuss) but I do not want bleak right now. I don't want to watch people getting treated worse than they deserve or dealing with circumstances beyond their control. If I wanted that I could read the news or talk to a lot of my friends or indeed think about most of my goddam life.

I'm mad about what happened to Missy and Bill, and I hope though I'm not holding my breath that the Christmas episode will go some way to fixing that.
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[personal profile] hollymath
At first I was frustrated that the initial excitement about the new Doctor is so long before we'll see anything more of her. Still got my beloved Capaldi at Christmas, and then a year off...

But an internet friend has written a Thirteenth Doctor story, and he says "I wanted to write the Doctor as I wanted her to be rather than predict the one we'll see on TV." And I realized that I'm glad we have a year am a half to write her as we want her to be before all my reservations about the writing and directing of the TV show have to kick in. I know good writers, and no doubt there are many more, who I don't have to have such reservations about.

And now I'm glad of all that time.

The story is very good. It's called "Be Afraid" and you can read it here.

Interview

Jul. 20th, 2017 03:36 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
I told people I didn't have my heart set on the job I interviewed for today, but they ended up running a half hour late by the time I got asked on, and I spent that half hour in the café talking to the finance/admin person, who was basically there to open the door before the café opened and chat to people. We talked about our dogs (she has lurchers!) and bringing family over to visit (she's Dutch) and what this place is like to work for (friendly and relaxed, and it seemed lovely when I saw her interacting with co-workers). I saw the person I vaguely know which is how I found out about this job, and she chatted with me about the local Pride planning since that's how I know her, and she complimented the brooches on my waistcoat (well, neither brooches nor waistcoat are mine, [personal profile] mother_bones loaned it to me so I didn't have to wear a suit jacket in heat or humidity) and...

In one way it was really nice not to have to just sit and wind myself up while I waited. The bus timetable meant I got there about fifteen minutes early, too, because it was either that or be late, so I'd actually been sitting quite a while and it didn't seem like it at all with someone nice to talk to.

But it did mean I ended up really really hoping I get this. Which is really really inconvenient.

I had vague answers at some points where I think specific ones would be better. But the interviewers seemed more impressed with me than I would've been if I were them, so I dunno if I'm being too hard on myself or they're just really nice. Well, they are really nice, but I don't know how much that was masking their thoughts!

They said they hope to have an answer for us by the end of today or else tomorrow. So at least I don't have long to wait.

I woke up long enough before my alarm this morning thst I was both extra-bothered by needing a haircut and actually had time to do it. So I did, and I took picture after I got dressed (in my fancy clothes, not the grubby ones I walked the dog and went to the post office on first) and put it online and have had a lot of nice and supportive comments. I know selfies can boost self-esteem but I don't think I'd ever actually had it happen to me before! So that was fun.

Tomorrow morning...

Jul. 19th, 2017 06:01 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
...I will go to another job interview and pretend I am not the kind of person who starts their interview prep the night before.

Ugh. I have to do a presentation and I hate presentations. At least it doesn't have to be powerpoint.

Bleh

Jul. 18th, 2017 11:48 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
It would be nice to have one goddam day with no nap needed in the evening, no anxiety attack in the wee hours, no debilitating headache...

Yesterday was anxiety attack in the middle of the night again. Today was blinding headache so I was in bed by eight o'clock (I'm awake again now to tell you this because somebody thought 11:30 on a Tuesday night was a good time to set off fireworks that sounded like they were right outside my bedroom window).

Something every day. Seems kind of crazy I'm trying to find work again, when these symptoms are worse than they've been in years.
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[personal profile] hollymath
Honestly the thing I want to do now is watch the finale knowing the new Doctor isn't another white man. Because I watched that with such trepidation that when it finished and James asked me what I thought of it, I said I liked it but then just went on to be really pessimistic about the breadcrumbs towards a woman playing the Doctor.

I absolutely didn't trust this show not to give me another white man, and I surprised myself with how incapable I was of getting my hopes up. And my guardedness really dampened my ability to enjoy or even evaluate the last episode.

It'll be interesting to watch it again and see if what I feel about it changes. Where's my DVD box set already?! (I want to watch most of this season again, and have ever since I finished watching the episodes the first time.)

We're all stories in the end

Jul. 16th, 2017 05:14 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
I had to remember to put my phone on silent before I went to church.

I don't think I've been to church since i had a phone to put on silent, except going along occasionally with my mom when I'm back visiting and I can't use my phone in Minnesota anyway.

I haven't gotten myself to church since I was, what, nineteen? Somewhere in my first or second year in college I went from the holdover of fairly evangelical Christianity I'd finished high school with to wanting to sleep in, and then working night shifts on Saturdays and somewhere amidst the practicalities my keenness drained away and my belief drained away altogether without me noticing until long after it had.

I've been to the odd wedding (including my own!) or funeral in church since, but not anything so closely resembling a normal service until today.

And today wasn't that normal; it was the baptism service for my fictive nephew, who was not christened or baptised as a baby and decided of his own volition this year that he wanted to be. He just turned eight today.

It was strangely familiar: the liturgy is more modern than I grew up with, but a lot, especially the congregation's responses, is pretty much word-for-word what I was used to, and it surprised me how much came back to my mind, just in time for me to say it. I fumbled through prayers, only remembering one line as I finished the previous one, and even remembering one of the hymns (though not from my fusty old church but from the Bible camps of my teenage years).

But it was also very different: so much more relaxed not just from the officiants at the front (both women!) but also from the congregation, who chatted incessantly beforehand, who didn't mind their kids running over to talk to their friends somewhere else, who clapped when a six-year-old read the gospel (and having a six-year-old reading the gospel at all!).

It was really special, including Jack using his dad's christening shawl in the baptism. And his Bible as, basically, a prop. "Jack's dad is giving him the Bible he had as a child," the vicar said, and the honesty of small children compelled Jack to say "but I have to give it back to him afterward," which got the biggest laugh of the event.

I'd never seen anyone baptised who wasn't a baby. Indeed my mom was fretful and slightly judgmental of family members who'd never baptised their children; baptism had an air of insurance about it, it was a layer of protection to get in place as soon as possible "just in case..."

The more evangelical Christians I fell in with as a teenager left me with the idea that baptism should be a meaningful decision made by the individual at an age where they can make it. But of course all the baptisms I saw were at my mom's Lutheran church or my dad's Catholic one, where the only way one differed from another was whether or not the baby cried when it got water on its face (and, when I was old enough to spot this, whether the family were regular churchgoers according to the grumbling judgment of my own family).

Whereas this clearly had Jack's personality stamped all over it, and I thought that was lovely. He bounded around, running to and from the front of the church as need be, reading out lines he'd practiced both in the baptismal service itself and as part of the communion service, disappeared to talk to a friend one time when he was about to be needed up front again, delivering that line about having to give his dad's Bible back with perfect comedic timing, and a million little things that made me feel lucky to know him well enough to recognize him here and to be a part of his special day.

At the end of the service the deacon said, "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Stopping for coffee along the way." And it just made me grin. The first part I'm so familiar with, the second wasnt even an implicit part of the doxology I grew up with; at my mom's church people lingered to chat but at ours everybody scattered as soon as we shook hands with the priest on the way out. And even my mom's was too formal to have the coffee being mentioned.

When I got home and changed, I still heard my necklace rattling around on its chain around my neck. I wear them too infrequently these days, I'd forgotten all about it. It says "We're all stories, in the end" and I wore it because I got it as a Christmas gift from Jack's mum one year.

It was fitting anyway for today, a day where near-fossilized stories about my childhood joined up to stories about the people I'm glad to have in my life now that things are mostly so very different but still can be linked back to the old ones.

Only much later did I learn my necklace was a quote from Doctor Who, since I never watched all the Tennant episodes, and that made it a nice choice for today too, when I got home just in time for the news of who the new Doctor is, and the potential for lots of new stories.

Good boys

Jul. 15th, 2017 01:44 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
Had an anxiety attack last night. Middle of the night, already tucked up in bed. Even let the dog upstairs (and he was a very Good Boy). So exhausting.

Eventually I got to sleep, but I kept waking up. But every time I woke up I had Andrew glomming onto one side of me and the dog pressed right up against my leg on the other side, and the pressure and warmth were intense enough to be really comforting. I was always able to get back to sleep, until a reasonable time this morning.

[food]

Jul. 15th, 2017 01:25 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
Did that thing where I made enough food for two meals, then ate it all because it was so tasty.

Ginger, garlic, chili flakes and orange juice blended together for a sauce added to quorn chicken pieces. With sugar snap peas, red pepper and noodles.

All gone now!

More adventures in copy-editing

Jul. 14th, 2017 10:26 am
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[personal profile] hollymath
Note to self: find out how Andrew wants to restructure this paragraph in light of the fact that EDM is not a new musical fad.

Bless him. He rightly writes about 60s music most of the time, since he knows nothing about most music made in his lifetime. But when one of those 60s bands carries on until now, he can run up against some issues.

Admittedly not as many as the Beach Boys fans he told me about the other day, who are pleased that one of them is doing a song with the guy from Sugar Ray because it means he's helping "young musicians." The guy's in his forties and Sugar Ray was a thing when I was in high school...

Being as charitable as I can: to people obsessed with musicians in their seventies, this guy must seem like quite the whippersnapper. But really, I suspect they just think that anyone they haven't heard of can't really be famous yet.

Well, here's a thing.

Jul. 13th, 2017 06:34 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
The first thing I signed up for when Trump got elected was the campaign to impeach him. They've just sent me this e-mail:

Yesterday, Congressman Brad Sherman (D-CA, 30th District) and Congressman Al Green (D-TX, 9th District) introduced an Article of Impeachment (H.Res. 438) against President Trump for High Crimes and Misdemeanors. The article focuses on obstruction of justice.

We’ve reached a critical threshold in this campaign, but we have to keep working together!

How can you help?

The House Judiciary Committee must now be pressed to hold hearings on this article of impeachment, and House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte needs to hear from you.

Please call the House Judiciary Committee at (202) 225-3951. When someone answers, ask to leave a message:

Hello, my name is ____________. I am calling to urge Chairman Goodlatte to hold hearings on the Article of Impeachment introduced this week by Congressman Brad Sherman and Congressman Al Green. Our democracy is counting on the House Judiciary Committee to take action. Thank you!

To read the full Article of Impeachment introduced on Wednesday, click here.

Warning: pettiness ahead

Jul. 12th, 2017 07:09 am
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[personal profile] hollymath
There's something delicious in proofreading a sentence criticizing a lyric that includes "someone whose job it is to work with words should understand the difference between the dative and the nominative" when it's not the dative case he's talking about, it's the accusative.

I try so hard to be a kind proofreader, because we all fuck up, but I think it's Language Log that have the rule that goes something like "if you criticize someone else's grammar, you're bound to make a grammatical mistake in the process of doing so"? And it just made me smile.

In which I am not a nice person

Jul. 11th, 2017 10:09 pm
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[personal profile] hollymath
I went to see my friends' new house today and I was kind of an asshole about it. Because it was so great, and I'm so happy for them, but it was also hard not to be envious.

I don't like my house nearly as much and there was so much I wanted to change when we got it that immediately became unaffordable when I lost my job. It was such a long time ago and we're so much poorer now with little prospect of being able to afford the things that were supposed to happen then, much less anything I want changed cosmetically or less-essentially.

I thought I'd gotten better about this but last couple of months, it's been worse again. I just feel like I have no control over my environment, and I'm getting mopey and resentful and all the bad emotions about that.

I wish being happy for my friends didn't have to be mixed up with all this ugly shit in my own head and life.

Swimming through treacle

Jul. 11th, 2017 09:55 am
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[personal profile] hollymath
Yesterday I got an e-mail inviting me to an interview for the job I applied for, and my first thought, honestly, was "great, one more fucking thing."

That's the same thought I had about the last one. It is so inconvenient having depression, it really is.

It's prolly a walrus...

Jul. 10th, 2017 08:59 pm
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[personal profile] ludy
So i was wrong about having a Chronic Fatigue Flare Up - that doesn't give you a fever. I've had a temperature most days for the last three and a half weeks and I am very, very bored. Otherwise the symptoms are much the same as chronic fatigue - exhaustion, swollen glands, feeling generally achey and brain fog.
I've been prodded by the GP and there's no obvious flavour of ill (my throat, ears, lungs, guts and urinary tract are all normal-for-ludy) but a blood test some virus type infection markers. A glandular fever screen was negative (though they aren't very reliable and i have had that before) I was worried i might have an enlarged spleen but it turns out i've somehow managed to pull a muscle under my ribs cause a totally unrelated pain! So all she could recommend is rest and fluids and watching out for secondary infections. She couldn't guess how much longer it might go on
I'm feeling bored and isolated but I don't have the energy to do anything so i'm feeling pretty sorry for myself.

Circumstances mean i wouldn't have been doing much MumCare over the last fortnight anyway (Brother visit and then planned Respite) but ongoingly that's a problem. And of course it'll be the Smalls school holidays soon and other summer-y things are coming up like my Birthday and BiCon.

Meep!
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