bethanthepurple: (Default)
bethanthepurple ([personal profile] bethanthepurple) wrote2006-05-20 08:29 pm

Bethan's continually updated Eurovision post!

20:29: Finland look to win.
Latvia ought to do well, for they have PUPPETS and a puppet master of indeterminate gender.
Norway has clones. Eep!

20:32: Spain's song sucks. BUT they have an Unbelievably Hawtt SKINHEAD Dancer (you know she's a girl cos she's got an ikkle skirt) who picks up singers :D
Malta wins the Perpetuation Of Patriarchal Standards Award. Crikey. Oh yus, and tone-deafness

20:40: THE DEEP SOUTH HAS ENTERED EUROPE! Oh no, it's Germany. Oops.
SMILE BAND, SMILE! Bad dress, but continuing a good trend this year of women with figures!
Anyone else noticed the sudden explosion of people of African descent this year? I didn't realise the Israelis & Arabs had left Israel.

RUSSIA HAS MULLETS! Push that microphone! Gr! And I don't know who shagged the piano, but it just gave birth :o

20:50: Macedonia has Timberlake-lookielike in braces and sittiebum lady! Woo!
Another Euro trend - dancing in heels. Youch!

20:56: Romania has a singer... who can sing. But not apply eyeshadow :( And ANOTHER ballet dancer who don't dance balletly and wears funky clothes. Off camera.

21:02: Bosnia has ACCORDIANS! And 2 men swapped trousers, judging by how groin-clingingly tight the centre guys is. Youch. But what is this strange not-English they speak?
Lithuania tell us they are the winners. Sure you are. Actually... I want these guys to win. They're cool! *votes for them*

21:09: Britain's singer is 50. And borrowed from Lithuania. At least he got around the inability to sing by just speaking. *does a genuine speechless*
*scowls at Xiphi for insulting Eurovision*
GREECE HAS NO THIGHS! And she hates a guy yet stil loves him. No change there then.
The guy at the front with the big flag needs to mind the eyes of the people around him :/

21:16: FINLAAAAAAAAND!!! Hard Rock Hallelujah!!! *spaffs*
Guitar extensions and rubber FLAPS :D And they put a THROW on the keyboard to make it RAWK!
Wings! Really really really bad wings!
Ukraine has men in dresses with bad teeth. Apparently they're cossacks. And incorporate childhood games into dance routines. Imaginative.

21:25: France has a good singer, but where does good singing stand against HARD RAWK?! Useless.
YOU CAN SEE CROATIA'S KNICKERS! Oooh, and if I yell I sound like a Croatia man.
Stop trying to get us to clap along. Don't you realise we're British?
Tick tock round half past two, you will nibble me. but noone will see, apparently. Gosh.
And there's the obligatory Bucks' Fizz trick.

21:32: Every Song is a Cry for Love, says Ireland. And don't you just need it hun. *shudder* Bless. He hit a high note. There's emotion.
Sweden's entry has the national supply of Vaseline on her teeth. Mercifully she is restrained by her long dress getting stuck at the back of the stage. PHEW! Oh noes! She's escaped! RUN!
Given her "tattoo" & the prevalence of flagdancers, I think the vangies took over this entry.

21:40: Turkey got our dancers, we got their singer. Righto.
Oooooooooooh. Tattoos. Nyom. LOOK AT HER HAIR! HAVE YOU NOTICED?! And a bum.

Armenia obviously called shotgun on kinky bondage. It's a walking talking Cat's Cradle!

Aaaaaaaaand... HERE'S THE VOTE!
Not before the presenters come on with their third AMAZING(TM) costume change!
And the magic b0rked eggtimer!
This Eurovision drinking game? Shot for every amazing. Smashed 10 minutes in with this scriptwriter. BUY AN ARSING THESAURUS!

My vote: (from the top...)
Spain (for the skinhead)

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh dear God don't tell me you're watching it as well!?!

And with ENTHUSIASM! What's wrong with you, woman?? Have you no shame?? Are you not afraid that your brain will melt and dribble out of your ears!?!

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
It's Eurovision! Top event of the year, this!
3 hours with absolutely no irony!


[identity profile] 2006-05-20 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm becoming concerned about my sanity. I have precisely NIL light switch, toolbox or eurovision fetishes, and I'm about to start vacuuming the carpet.

lizziec: (Default)

[personal profile] lizziec 2006-05-20 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
And I don't know who shagged the piano, but it just gave birth :o


[identity profile] 2006-05-20 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Argh! I found it on Radio (whatever). It was better when they had to sing in their national language, at least you couldn't tell how bad the lyrics were (or maybe I just got a particularly bad song - Ukraine).

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
You missed the visual assault of the skipping rope.
It was all in the skipping mate.

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I obviously suffer from being televisually impaired.

The commentary on the radio is a bit iffy (well stuck in the '70s): the Croatian singer was just described as having "legs that could crack walnuts".

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
She certainly had... legs.
And knickers, thank God.


[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
At one point, our Tel said "Oops, she's departed from her script - there should have been an 'amazing' there.......... ah, there it is".

Re: Amazing

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Play the drinking game - its amazing!
Apparently he's not had much to eat tonight. Oh really?

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't believe that everyone is voting for their neighbour... still!


[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Political song contest, innit.

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
*wibbles some more*

Yeah, I guess it still is.

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
The Dutch judge sounds just like a comedy Dutchman :}

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
He was a classic.
I think if the presenters had been with him he'd be dead.

The Polish guy. What a hilarious joker!

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Who says that the poles have no sense of humour?!

:) :)

Re: Amazing

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Erm... apparently it was "Ken Bruce" on the radio.

Never heard of him :-/

[identity profile] 2006-05-20 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
But luckily, one of the 'vote in group' countries were the mind-numbing Finland!

Uma Turman was killed!

(Anonymous) 2007-05-23 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Today in Los-Angeles. Horrible..

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